Category: death/dying
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Every picture tells a story – a postcard from the past
Lawrence Buckley 24th August 1957 – 10th July 1995 “I came across a cache of old photos… …cause we were never being boring We had too much time to find for ourselves… And we were never holding back or worried that Time would come to an end” Being Boring, Pet Shop Boys I came across…
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How I became an assisted dying advocate — and why Westminster Parliamentarians must stand up for choice at the end of life
On balance the choice of an assisted death is probably not one I would make for myself. That may sound like a curious way for an advocate of assisted dying to start an article at such a moment. Contradictory even. But at its heart this is a debate about choice. And whatever choice I might…
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A letter to my sister, Rachael, at 60
On human forms, your presence, first and always open smile; I cannot reach the memory or ease the space, of in between the cliffs and sky: the silence. From Untitled by David Annwn* It has taken me 16 years to write this letter. But you would have been 60 today and I could not let the moment…
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A journey through grief
In 1937, even though banned by the Nazis from producing her work, the artist Käthe Kollwitz secretly made one of her last major pieces. Just 40cm high, it is a sculpture of the draped figure of a mother, sharing a silhouette while cradling her grown son. Twenty-three years after her son Peter’s death, at the…
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On the death of a remarkable woman – in memory of Marie Buckley
Scarcely anyone reading this will have heard of Marie Buckley who has died aged 86. Yet she was, by any measure, a remarkable woman. And although I had not seen her for many years, she was also one of the most significant people in my life. Marie was my late partner, Lawrence’s mum. If you…
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And then there was one
‘There is a time for the evening under starlight, A time for the evening under lamplight (The evening with the photograph album). Love is most nearly itself When here and now cease to matter.’ T.S. Eliot, East Coker, Four Quartets And then there was one. Ever since I heard you had left us last week,…
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Supernova – love, death and the sound of silence
Harry Macqueen’s new film Supernova portrays the love between two middle-aged gay men. But it is not about sexuality. The word gay is never uttered. When I was asked to review the film for BBC Radio Scotland, I knew little about it except that it starred Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci as a gay couple. I had to…
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What’s left undone — Remembering Olivia McLeod
Our journey together scarcely left base camp. But the tent pegs in the ground were already secure. In the midst of an ending, we forged a new bond. Green shoots burgeoned. Abundant with hope, possibility. Stuff to talk about, things to do. Such was the thrill of my short friendship with Olivia McLeod. Facing death,…
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Some thoughts on living with dying – and remembering
In July 1995, my partner of 10 years, Lawrence, left me. He’d been leaving for a while. First his body and then, in the last few months, his mind. Not a sudden parting, more an ebbing away. Like a lingering tide, occasionally he would threaten to come back. But the pull was unstoppable. He had…
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Death doesn’t become us, so don’t wait
Returning from a few days away this week, I learnt of the death of an old friend from my trade union days. The revelation came via the dead hand of Facebook. A timely reminder that for all its faux intimacy, social media is brutally impersonal. It connects us for sure, but in ways we have…